To Do List

I found a really neat to do list at Simple Mom. It has a place to track your water,most important things to do, work out,dinner,to do list and general plan. But the thing that strikes me the funniest-There is also a section on there for your blog. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or bad thing. I love that it is on there so if something strikes me to blog about, I can jot it down for later. But then I think, what is this world coming to that theres a blog box on a to do list? If anyone uses to do list this is the best by far that I have scene.

Not Happy

I know its been awhile since Ive blogged. Dad got sick again and Ive been doing a lot of running up and down the road to him. And its made me realize some things in all the time I have gotten to think.

And once again I'm not happy. I'm really thinking it is me. Ive once again tried to talk to John but nothing changes. He said things will and they don't. Him working seven days a week and spending no time with his family is taking its toll. I constantly get yelled at and get blamed for things. Or I get the attitude because he's pissed off because something hasn't gone right.

And now Ive decided to go back to work full time. How this is going to work I don't know. I will now be working and still have all the responsibility of the kids as he stated he will not help. And yes I know millions of women do this every day. But I have no clue have I'm going to work and get three kids to different activities every day. I guess this in itself will be its own adventure.

I even brought up the whole separating thing. It might have been mean to say, but I flat out asked him whats the point of having him if I will still be taking care of the house and kids and working? But I don't even know if separating is the answer. All I know is I'm not happy and that needs to change because its affecting me every day.

A Sad Weekend

This wasn't exactly how I wanted my weekend to be. Friday night we got the news that dads cancer has come back. We had just barely made it to the three month mark. Two scans picked up a tumor in his mouth. They also revealed that he has an infection in his spinal cord. Monday he will be admitted to the hospital. Tuesday he will have a biopsy on the tumor and infection. We know that the infection will require 6-8 weeks of iv meds. As far as the tumor, we wont know till Tuesday.

Last night we learned that two members of Cobb Island firehouse lost their lives. One got into some trouble in the water and the other jumped into save him. They both did not make it. Two young lives lost way to early.

Thoughts and prayers would be greatly appreciated at this time.

Off to the Beach

Yes, I know Ive only been home for a day and a half from the last vacation. But after much thought and looking at the calendar, we decided to go to the beach this week. Well, the kids and I. August the girls start cheerleading practice and Eric would like to work. And I thought that I could spend the month getting the house school ready, working on schedules, doing fun things around the house and taking day trips. I'm not even unpacked from this past weeks vacation!! But its all good. Ive figured out a couple of things I would like to go and do with the kids. And some days, we will just simply do nothing. And I'm fine with that.

I Discovered a New Thing

Its called turn of my cell phone and don't check my emails at night!! And not to check my email on weekends. And its WONDERFUL!!!!!!!! Nobody told me you could do this. After 5 pm, I don't check emails and then around 9, I put my cell on silent. Its been so great not to have to worry about checking and getting back to people. Though it has irritated a few people because they are used to me getting back right away. Boo hoo!! I need me time,family time and time to decompress at night. I cant always be bothered with firehouse stuff at all hours but apparently their are a few people that think I should be. So everyone will just learn how to deal!

I thought summer was supposed to be easier?

Who ever told me that lie, please raise your hand! I swear I spend more time running around now then I did when the kids were in school. But probably not. Days like yesterday when we had VBS, the pool,hair cuts, two 4-H meetings and I was baby sitting make it crazy. I even went grocery shopping. But I did learn that I need to pack more snacks and such on these longer days. I think I will need a vacation after this week! Two more days of bible school and we are ending Friday going swimming with Chelsea and the kids.I do love these summer days!

Changes

We have been so busy this last month. Promotions, recitals, shows and a vacation to New York. In the midst of all this I have done alot of thinking. I have seen that I'm not happy with myself. I feel that I have no time for myself nor do I do anything for myself. So I have decided that I am staying with my cut back shift for the medic unit and that come August, I will not run any one particular shift. That is to help me have more time with transitioning the kids back to school and to help Tina with her decision to go back to cheerleading. I also am working it for me to go back to the gym. I need some me time and the gym sounds like a great place to do it. They have excellent child care so Sara will get to see some fresh faces. I also would like to start scrapbooking again. I haven't scrapbooked since last October. That is mine own little world where I can get lost. Hopefully some of this will help with the stress and anxiety. I cant go through life being crabby all the time!