Monday, October 15, 2012

Dad and The Surgery No Surgery

Last Thursday, dad had his surgery. The plan was to open him along the last surgery lines, take out the bone that was replaced, remove the rest of the tongue and replace the bone with muscle from his chest. I talked to him several times that night and up till he had to go to the OR. Just to back track a second, I spent all day Wednesday with him. It was very hard. We both cried, and he told me things that he thought I needed to know. Stories about before I was born and after.Things that he wished he'd done. So back to the surgery. They took him, cut him open and saw that the tumor has grown to his carotid. So they sewed him back up. They did take some tissue for samples. But there is nothing they could do. And surgery is no longer an option. No radiation either. We can try chemo again, but he hasn't responded the last two times. So who knows. I don't want to think of this as the end. I don't want it to be. I have no idea what I would do if I lost my dad. Though he was around alot when I was younger, I'm a daddy's girl through and through. And like we talked about the day before surgery, I want him to walk me down the isle when we renew our vows. He didn't get to do it the first time. I want other things with him too. Family pictures, Christmas, to sit on the beach and watch the water. And so much more. He said before surgery he was ready for what ever was going to happen. He really didn't think he was going to make it through. But he did. So he has to make it through this.