Nothing Much New

Not much has changed here lately. Other then cheerleading is OVER! As much as I love it, the schedule for the last month was getting ridiculous. Practice 5 times a week was a little much. But all the hard work for Tina's squad paid off, because they took first place in the 11-13 division! Christmas is getting into full swing. We are actually taking a small life break this weekend and headed to Great Wolf Lodge! And I get to have surgery next week for a kidney stone. That's about all the happenings here! Stand by for some more exciting news!

Dad and The Surgery No Surgery

Last Thursday, dad had his surgery. The plan was to open him along the last surgery lines, take out the bone that was replaced, remove the rest of the tongue and replace the bone with muscle from his chest. I talked to him several times that night and up till he had to go to the OR. Just to back track a second, I spent all day Wednesday with him. It was very hard. We both cried, and he told me things that he thought I needed to know. Stories about before I was born and after.Things that he wished he'd done. So back to the surgery. They took him, cut him open and saw that the tumor has grown to his carotid. So they sewed him back up. They did take some tissue for samples. But there is nothing they could do. And surgery is no longer an option. No radiation either. We can try chemo again, but he hasn't responded the last two times. So who knows. I don't want to think of this as the end. I don't want it to be. I have no idea what I would do if I lost my dad. Though he was around alot when I was younger, I'm a daddy's girl through and through. And like we talked about the day before surgery, I want him to walk me down the isle when we renew our vows. He didn't get to do it the first time. I want other things with him too. Family pictures, Christmas, to sit on the beach and watch the water. And so much more. He said before surgery he was ready for what ever was going to happen. He really didn't think he was going to make it through. But he did. So he has to make it through this.

Really? I mean REALLY?!?

Well looks like we're back at it again. My dad is heading for that nasty battle again. The tumor is back. But this time the game plan has changed. He cant do chemo since he just finished a round and radiation is out of the question. So we are faced with two choices. One, being doing nothing and we have less then a year with him. Two, remove the rest of the tongue, replace it with muscle from his chest. He would be in the hospital for 14 days, then 2 weeks of rehab and then 4 weeks of recovery time. Oh, and the surgery would have to be done by the end of the month. So that's where it stands. We have lots of decisions and praying to do. I'm leaving it to God to point us in the right direction. All I know is I want my time with my daddy. And he knows that. I told him Im being stingy and not ready to let him go. He owes me some back time. And he agreed with me!

Join Me for 100 Days to Christmas Fun

Are you ready for the holiday season yet? Have you even started? Well if not, join me for 100 Days to Christmas Kicks off for 2012! Join their Facebook page and you can partake in the online party tonight! Meet new friends, get new ideas and enjoy the give aways!

Im Sorry, Can You Push That Button Again?

I had a blog all thought out! I was going to write about something that happened on Friday. But our adventure last night has changed that! So here goes!

Took John to the ER last night because his head and neck were hurting. He had a pimple he had picked at, so I knew it was infected and needed to be drained. When we got there and he was triaged, his blood pressure was dangersouly high. Like stroke zone high. So they started an iv, gave him antiboitics and some blood pressure medicine. They said the abcess on his head was infected, and that the infection could go to his brain. Then his labs came back and said his kidneys were showing some damage. We now have to do some follow ups. And major lifestyle changes. I know it will be a bumpy road, but hopefully we get it all worked out!

What Does Someone thats Struggling Look Like?

Do they look like the mom toting a bunch of kids around the grocery store in worn out clothes? Is it the man that rides up and down the road to his job at McDonalds on his bike? Or could it be the family that you see everyday at school, scouts, etc?

Well guess what the answer is? All of the above! This isn't about judging, but about knowing that this could be your next store neighbor, your best friend or even you co-worker.

Why am I bringing this up you ask? Because I finally have decided to be brave enough and share my story. That's right, ME! And about the struggles my family had.

Not the greatest time of my life. Especially to feel like it was all I could do to keep my family fed. Money was pretty non existing in our house. But did anyone know? Nope! Not till last Christmas when someone who I now consider one of my best friends showed up a few days before Christmas with her mother and left a bag on the porch. In that bag was food, toys and a gift card. But back to us struggling. My kids ate two meals at school every day. I was lucky enough to have food for dinner or to have food to feed them all weekend. Why didn't I ask for help? Well one, I was too ashamed. After all, who wants to admit they need help? And when I finally did, our government failed us. We were denied an EBT card. Reason, to much income! How I don't know. It was now even harder for us to pay bills. Vehicles were reposed. The church even paid our electric bill so we could have heat during the winter.

After months of struggling things have finally changed. We've been going several months with bills paid ahead, a purchase of another vehicle and even more then enough food. Though you ask the kids we never have anything to eat! So my main point to this whole story-You never know someone else's situation. Its easy to put on a great facade, after all, I did it for several months! If you think there might be a problem, gently ask if you can do something to help. It can mean more then you would think.

Back to School

So finally at twenty minutes till midnight the girls went to sleep. And I went to sleep...Not at all! I ended up staying up all night stressing,crying and praying. Over what you ask? Stupid things! Ill save that story for another day. Maybe.

Our day started at 545. Everyone got up with out problems and out the door with out them as well. The morning was pretty smooth since I made sure everything was packed up last night and money and checks were given out. However, I only managed to do one thing on the list today. And that was go to WalMart. Baby steps!

The millions of papers are now filled out for tomorrow. Who's buying and packing lunch has been taking care of. And dinners done. Nothing fancy, just french bread pizza. And of course one person is asleep. And its not Sara!!

'Twas The Night Before School

And all through the house, not a child was sleeping and mama was screaming like a banshee. Well not really, but I did raise my voice a few times. And. I. Still.Am. The girls are steadily talking and not going to sleep. I on the other hand would like to roll over and pull my blanket over my head. 530am is not going to be pretty. Especially with all the stuff I want to do. I decided this summer to push everything aside and just spend time with the kids after the spring we had. So now I'm waiting very impatiently for them to go to sleep so I can do the same. Hopefully its soon!

Two Month Slump

So its been two months since Ive written. Nothing else bad has happened, thank God. Just been trying to get back in the groove of things and have a happy family. Summer here has gotten off to a slow start with all the kids having bronchitis or pneumonia or both! The next few weeks of summer will be busy to get everything in that we wanted to. Stay tuned for upcoming adventures and projects!

Life Happens

Well its been several months. And I can say not happy months. Little did we know that in a 5 day period we would loose a battle and start one all over. So here goes...

The last week of January sucked. There is no other better word to describe it. Johns dad was diagnosed with cancer in his shoulder which led to the finding of stage 4 lung cancer. 4 days later my dad announced that his cancer was back. 1 day after that my sister lost her baby.

My sister had a d&c and recovered nicely. My dad began the fight.Again. My father in law never got to fight the battle. He made it through 3 chemo treatments then ended up in the hospital for 10 days. In that period we learned that he had cancer in his hip,spine and back. And quite possibly in his brain. He was released and was home 2 days(one which was a really good day) before he ended up back in the hospital. After being there for 2 days the doctors concluded that there was nothing more that could be done and it was time for hospice. We  brought him home on hospice on a Tuesday, and one week later on Tuesday, at 7:01 am, he was called home. He never got to fight the battle. As much as it hurt, the suffering was over and that's what we wanted.

Life has yet to return back to our normal. Not that I think it ever will. We will have a new normal now, once we    find it.

This Year I Shall....

Make small manageable obtainable goals! Instead of making goals for the year, I'm going to set small goals for each month. For January, Id like to get the house clean and re-organized. I would also like to work going back to the gym in my schedule at least once a week. Id love to say twice, but we'll go with once for now! Some months I know what the goals are going to be, others I will have to think of it as the month drawls closer. There is other things Id like to work on, but those are my main ones for the month!